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Coping With a Spouse’s Emotional Tirades During Divorce

The break-up of a marriage can cause emotional turmoil even for spouses who initiate the split. It can be stressful to cope with feelings about divorce as you try to make decisions about parenting plans, spousal support and property division. Anger and hurt can build up and boil over causing spouses to act out.

Some Texas spouses do or say harmful things during or after divorce as a way to alleviate the pain caused by the break-up. Sometimes, very personal details about a broken marriage end up being heard by the wrong people or posted in a public place, like a social media website. The spouse who is the object of these tirades sometimes strikes back in verbal or written form, escalating an already tense situation.

It is one thing to vent feelings among trusted friends and family members or to therapists and quite another to rant through a public forum. A lot of people can identify with the urge to purge feelings this way. But, there are reasons – including legal ones – to limit what you say and write.

The spouse who makes derogatory comments about a spouse or takes vengeful actions may be responding to heartache, but this coping mechanism can cause more harm than good. Depending upon the vitriolic actions taken and the effects of them, a spouse could be charged with a crime like harassment or libel. This is exactly what you don’t need while trying to work out sensitive divorce issues, particularly if a dispute is before a family court judge.

Recipients of verbal or written abuse should not respond by launching a full-blown offensive, no matter how tempting. It may be difficult not to retaliate, but taking the high road may be the best course of action. If the behavior is seriously damaging, the legal system can work to correct any harm caused by a spouse.

Source: The Huffington Post, “Getting Divorced? Prepare: Your Dirty Laundry Might Be Aired,” Jackie Pilossoph, April. 22, 2015

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